It is now already 2 months ago that I bought my guitar. For 2 months I have been practicing everyday. Through good times and bad.
I am still motivated to learn. I am also still on Bali where I get inspired everyday thanks to all the wonderfull musicians around me.
I have my ups and downs, some days I don’t feel motivated or I just don’t know what I should do. I still try to play on those days but only for a short while, doing some finger gymnastics for example. Some days I feel really motivated and can practice for hours. Other days I feel inspired but the music can not come out the way it sounds in my head or heart, because of the lack of skill, that can be very frustrating.
I still feel terrible embarresed to play in public, only with some people I dare to. I went to Thailand for a week, and took my guitar with me. The first nights I stayed in a hostel, so I did not play because I feel stupid when I play around people. Then I booked my own room in Koh Chang, a beautiful island. The minute I walked in my room, I grabbed my guitar. I liked the fact that I felt this need so bad, I’m starting to get attached with this beautiful instrument.
Sometimes I feel lost because I don’t have one teacher and I am not following a program. So on advice of a friend I am trying to make my own program, work step by step. The good thing of not having a teacher, I can stick to what I like and I do it only for me. I need to kick my own ass when I don’t feel like playing.
I feel progress but it does not go fast enough to be content about it. I still loose faith every now and than but it gets less and less. I can believe a bit more that I will be able to play the guitar.
In about 2 weeks I am flying back home. It scares me because at home I don’t have people around me who play music every day. So I made a deal with my friend, when I am back on Bali in april, we are going to do an open mic together. So I have a good motivator to practice.
So the next time I write a chapter, we will all know what happens, how it continues at home.